[locked from Rory]
Jan. 4th, 2009 01:49 amI know I'm being childish here but I can't help it.
I've been wandering around Alessandro's empty house all morning. He wanted me to go with him to Mass but I just can't do that. It makes me feel even smaller than I already do to sit in an nearly ancient Cathedral and listen to some wizened old relic carry on in a language I barely speak (Latin) about damnation and guilt, knowing I have more than my fair share of what the Catholic Church would consider sin on my soul.
That's not really what I am being childish about though, cowardly maybe but not childish.
No, it's Ro.
He didn't ask me to stay. Didn't ask me not to go. He didn't come after me to ask me to come back to New York either.
It's not that I left just so he would chase me. It's not that at all. I don't know what I would have done had he asked me to stay or had he shown up here asking me to return.
I'm not making much sense.
I do keep wondering if part of him is glad that I'm gone. I'm so scared that he is.
I've been wandering around Alessandro's empty house all morning. He wanted me to go with him to Mass but I just can't do that. It makes me feel even smaller than I already do to sit in an nearly ancient Cathedral and listen to some wizened old relic carry on in a language I barely speak (Latin) about damnation and guilt, knowing I have more than my fair share of what the Catholic Church would consider sin on my soul.
That's not really what I am being childish about though, cowardly maybe but not childish.
No, it's Ro.
He didn't ask me to stay. Didn't ask me not to go. He didn't come after me to ask me to come back to New York either.
It's not that I left just so he would chase me. It's not that at all. I don't know what I would have done had he asked me to stay or had he shown up here asking me to return.
I'm not making much sense.
I do keep wondering if part of him is glad that I'm gone. I'm so scared that he is.