Pippa makes a big show of putting her napkin in her lap and rearranging her flatware before answering. So many different ways she can approach that one and it all boils down to just how honest she wants to be with her friend. "That depends on what you want to know, I suppose. Ro's wonderful. I don't know how he puts up with me sometimes."
She stops fiddling with the things in front of her and lifts her gaze to Cait's, blue eyes full of frank honesty and perhaps a touch of fear. "I don't know if I can do this." It comes out in a rush of hushed words and she looks away again before continuing in a more normal tone, "I wake up screaming from nightmares that won't go away. I guess that's normal. I don't know. And I feel like everything's just..." Her hands flutter in rapid circular motions, "And I can't make it stop. I yell at him, I push him away...the last time he tried to make love to me I--"
Pippa shakes her head and stops herself there, changes tracks slightly, "And then there's everything with the band. I feel like the world's worst girlfriend. I know they're all so happy and I want to be happy for them, I want to celebrate with them and I just...I can't make myself do it. Ro says he understands, but does he really? And work, how much longer is Mike going to hang on to my position without finding someone else? I can't tell you the last time I fired up the furnaces in my studio."
She gives Cait a smile she doesn't feel. "That's how things are. I feel like I'm walking on a balance beam made of rotted wood and it's going to give way at any moment."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-10-14 11:09 pm (UTC)She stops fiddling with the things in front of her and lifts her gaze to Cait's, blue eyes full of frank honesty and perhaps a touch of fear. "I don't know if I can do this." It comes out in a rush of hushed words and she looks away again before continuing in a more normal tone, "I wake up screaming from nightmares that won't go away. I guess that's normal. I don't know. And I feel like everything's just..." Her hands flutter in rapid circular motions, "And I can't make it stop. I yell at him, I push him away...the last time he tried to make love to me I--"
Pippa shakes her head and stops herself there, changes tracks slightly, "And then there's everything with the band. I feel like the world's worst girlfriend. I know they're all so happy and I want to be happy for them, I want to celebrate with them and I just...I can't make myself do it. Ro says he understands, but does he really? And work, how much longer is Mike going to hang on to my position without finding someone else? I can't tell you the last time I fired up the furnaces in my studio."
She gives Cait a smile she doesn't feel. "That's how things are. I feel like I'm walking on a balance beam made of rotted wood and it's going to give way at any moment."