sandandwater: (you don't say)
takes place well into the second week of January

She needed a break from the oppressive heat in Alessandro's glassworks studio, needed a drink of water and to wipe the sweat from her brow. She also wiped at the back of her neck and the small of her back. Moisture gathered everywhere it could pool as she worked and it didn't bother her until she stopped long enough to break her concentration. Now it positively itched.

Carrying her towel and a bottle of water outside with her, Pippa sat on a low stone bench and leaned against the building's exterior. Several days ago she'd had a conversation with one of her friends over the internet and since then she'd been having an internal debate over one sticking point: should she call Rory?

Today it seemed as if Pippa had had enough of her internal debate. She was going to call Rory. Just once. And if she got his voicemail, she'd leave him a message.

Her new phone, already filled with numbers and contact information, was missing an entry for the Irishman--not that it mattered. Pippa knew his numbers, his address, his email by heart. Without much thought, her fingers danced over the keypad, entering the digits for his cell phone.

As it rang in her ear, Pippa nodded at a passerby and offered a soft greeting in Italian. Hello, good afternoon.
sandandwater: (tears on my face)
picture prompts: pregnancy test and phone call

Just call him. Tell him you need to see him.

Pippa sighed. There were many things troubling her of late and did she really want to blindside Rory with the latest? Then again, hadn’t she and her therapist been discussing the fact that she needs to open up to the people in her life if she wants them to better understand her? So…

She dialed his cell phone felt relief wash over her when she was automatically directed to the voicemail system. If his phone was off, he was likely on his bike en route somewhere. Maybe it would be easier this way, just talk. Talk and not have to worry about him asking questions, making comments or otherwise interrupting her train of thought. She could put it all out there and let him decide how to handle it. Something else the shrink said she needed to be better about doing.

“Hi, Ro. It’s Pippa. Of course it’s Pippa, who else calls you Ro? Um…look, I know I told you nothing was wrong earlier and that I didn’t want to talk. I just—Okay, there was—is, and I didn’t know how to bring it up, that’s all.

“Um…God.” There was a heavy sigh, “I still don’t. But I’m going to and I’m just going to talk so forgive me if I ramble and don’t make too much sense, I’m pretty sure you’ll call me later anyway—probably to tell me I’m crazy and you don’t want anything else to do with me but well, that’s just not anything I can help, I guess.”

Nervous, she definitely sounded nervous as her voice trembled, cracked intermittently through her next words. “If I seemed out of sorts the last few days, more than I have been, there’s a reason for that. You see I’m late. Late. And I never am, you know. Like clockwork, always on time…every month…part of the joy of having an IUD and not having to remember to take a pill every day and it is actually easy to forget because I don’t have to think about it…didn’t, but then I realized...

“Okay, I really am rambling. Sorry.” She took a few deep breaths and forced herself to calm down. “I realized how off I was and then I thought…oh, God…it occurred to me that I could be pregnant.” There was a pause, a painful one as she wiped away a stray tear. “I’m not. I promise you, I’m not. So very, very not.”

Okay, so she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

“I took one those stupid home pregnancy tests and it was negative but I wasn’t going to trust that it was right so I made an appointment for a blood test with my doctor’s office and no, not pregnant. She thinks it’s just stress and weight loss and well…hell, doesn’t that make more sense anyway, given everything?” Laughter of the nervous, embarrassed sort. “I told her that was great news.

“Then I came home and cried. Aren’t I just the most idiot thing ever? I cried about it. I don’t know why. I was terrified that she was going to tell me I was pregnant. I spent the last two days wondering what in the world I was going to say to you if I was. Afraid of what you’d say or want me to do and all I could think about was the last time and I couldn’t, I can’t…I didn’t want to go through that again, Ro. I didn’t. And I know, I know you aren’t Edward and I know you wouldn’t have been hurtful or hateful about it but I was still scared…that I’d somehow end up losing you over this for being an irresponsible little twit.”

Pippa was quiet again,save for the sound of her breath and a sniffle or two, the rustle of tissue again skin as she dabbed at more tears. “I wanted to talk to you about this earlier, I did, but I didn’t think I could do so without falling apart. Hah…like I’m doing such a great job of keeping it together right now, right? I am such a screwed up mess, Ro. I don’t know what to think or feel and part of me really wanted her to tell me that the test was positive. Insane, I know. This is the worst possible time to even think about something like that.

“And we’ve never even really discussed it, or anything close to it and here I am…a stupid, sobbing mess over not being pregnant when I should be relieved. I should be so happy that I’m not, and I’m not. Why aren’t I? I don’t even want children. I haven’t wanted them…I’m not fit to be anyone’s mother, I think I proved that already. I had a baby and I gave her away without even looking at her. Who does that? Who does that…

“Oh, Ro…I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this except that I guess I just need to know. I need to know that you’d have still loved me and that you’d have still wanted to be with me. I need to know that you wouldn’t have been mad me.”

She hung her head, shook it as she silently chastised herself for putting all of this on him, and over the phone. “I’m sorry, Rory. I keep having to say this to you lately, don’t I? You know what, just…just delete this and forget about it, okay? We both know I shouldn’t make phone calls when I’m upset. Or drinking or…maybe I should just…I’m just going to go. Call me if you want to, I don’t care how late it is.”

Pippa Kerr//Last Call//950

[For Rory]

Aug. 25th, 2008 10:01 pm
sandandwater: (NYC)
When Pippa didn't show up for her Tuesday night shift at Last Call, the owner came in to make sure set up and opening was completed. Then he started making phone calls. No answer on her cell phone. No answer on her home phone. Mike left messages on both voicemail systems: Pippa, where are you? You're on the schedule for tonight in case you forgot. Call me, dollface.

She didn't return his calls or even show up at the bar. By the time the musical act of the night started their second set, Mike was getting worried. Not agitated. Pippa wasn't the irresponsible type. Where some of the other girls might simply pull a no-show for a shift, Phillipa Kerr had never once done that in the almost three years that he'd known her. Not once.

A thought occurred to him and he went back into the storeroom/office and pulled out the binder that held contact information for the bar's bookings. Pippa was dating one of the musicians that played at the Call regularly. Rory, wasn't it? The Irish guy...Stone. Finding the cell phone number for the man, Miked dialed. Maybe she'd been whisked off somewhere. Or maybe Rory knew where she was...hopefully.
sandandwater: (drunk and stupid)
Have you ever drunk dialed someone?

Looks rather exasperated and then more than a little embarrassed.

Fine, all right. Yes. Yes, I have drunk dialed someone. Once.

Are we done humiliating me now? Can we move on?

Hides her face in her hands and groans.

It was the most personally mortifying thing I have ever subjected myself to, making a complete fool of myself to the one person I really would prefer not to look like such a…a…oh, I really never wanted him to see or hear me like that.

Sighs. Holds her head up and squares her shoulders. Tries to put on an air of dignified perseverance.

It’s over and done with now; I don’t see the need to revisit the frank details.

Turns and smiles to herself.

After all, it led to the best kiss of my entire life.

Pippa Kerr//Last Call//145
sandandwater: (telephone)
Pippa logs off the computer with a resigned sigh and turns to stare down her phone. She will call him and apologize. She owes Rory at least that much. Right. Well, calling involves picking up the phone and dialing. Groaning, she rubs her brow with one hand and reaches for the receiver with the other.

At least she doesn't have to think about the digits involved, she only has to hit redial and let the phone reconnect her to the musician. Pippa says a little prayer that Rory isn't still asleep, waking him from slumber twice really wouldn't be a good sign.

It's ringing, she's waiting with a looming trepidation.
Please pick up, Ro. I can't handle a voice mail right now.


sandandwater: (Default)

October 2009

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